It was D-Day yesterday - the dreaded doctor's office for a 6 month follow-up to see if I'd lost any of the weight she finally told me I had to start losing after years of making excuses for me (bless her). My home scale said 211 - down 10 pounds from our last visit but still up from holiday excess and fun (one and the same in my book). The doctor's scale said 214 - as if there is a doctor scale in existence that ever reads less than the one we have at home. We talked about other stuff for a little bit and then she compared where I was six months ago (222) to now and I was embarrassed. She was mildly encouraged - my weight was at least going in the right direction. But only 8 pounds in six months?! I can gain that amount just by watching a Hostess cupcake commercial.
How could this be, I wondered. I had been thinking the same after reading the People magazine "Half their size" edition - how is it that I weigh the same as people who have 6 chili dogs and 2 milkshakes for breakfast. I haven't had that much fun in the morning since learning Kathie Lee Gifford was leaving TV (but now she's baaaaack - ugh). I went into a tailspin - one of those hideous days where I ate just a little bad stuff to comfort myself and then went into full-blown pity mode where I figure the day is already ruined so why don't I just do as much damage to myself as I please - and I did. And then something caught my eye - the meal diary that I've been keeping for my allergist appointment this coming Monday. I have developed a sudden sensitivity to some foods lately and before they test me, they want an idea of what I'm eating and how I react to those foods. As I scanned the diary it became clear to me why I hadn't lost more weight. By trying to avoid bad food reactions I kept to my tried-and-true menues - plenty of carbs and sodium and not much else. Okay, so maybe I'm not eating chili dogs and Big Macs but I'm not doing myself any favors with this food either.
Unfortunately, this realization didn't come to me until all the major damage of the day had been done. I know - how convenient. And it wasn't even really good splurge stuff like chocolate or ice cream - I committed the cardinal sin of indulging - instead of satisfying my real craving for just one item, I went through the fridge alphabetically and still wasn't happy. And then I sat down to watch "The Biggest Loser" to motivate myself (and by the way, did anyone else think it should've been called "The Cruelest Loser" last night after getting all those contestants there only to send half of them home?! What a blindside. I felt so sorry for those people - especially after weighing themselves on national TV.).
I also tried to watch Dr. Oz on Oprah yesterday but had to turn away after information overload. My head was starting to vibrate like the old times after spending a day at Chuck-ee Cheese with my son and 500 of his newest, sugar-enhanced friends. I'll definitely tune in today for the show on spirituality - Lord knows I could use some of that.
4 comments:
Well, at least your weight did go down and it sounds like you might have gotten some clarity as to why it didn't drop as much as you had wanted.
Chucky Cheese... just seeing those words on the page made my eyes bleed.
Amen, sister! And if hell does exist, thy name is Chucky (with competitive playgroup moms at his right paw).
Losing weight is the toughest thing I've ever done in my life. Have you thought of joining a weight loss program? I'm not pushing anything but maybe it might help boost your weight loss. No matter though, you've still lost over the past 6 months - not many people can say that! You should be proud!
I've been a Weight Watcher on many occasions and agree with you that the weight loss is consistent and orderly - for the most part. But the thing that always drives me away are the people in the classes with their extreme focus on food and food preparation. I'm looking more for the moral support. Talking about food all the time makes me think more about....FOOD! I have played around with different locations but always run into the same problem and then fall off the wagon and gain back more than I lost. I felt it was time to step out of the vicious cycle. Thanks for the suggestion though.
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