Breaking Even

I hope you all weathered the Thanksgiving holiday with your regimens and emotions still intact. It's always a white-knuckle time of year for me - sometimes things go just fine and other times it's like having a live grenade in the room - I know something's gonna blow; I just don't know when. And unfortunately, I never really know which way the holiday's going to go until I'm through it. As I'm sure you all know, it's mentally exhausting and that mental exhaustion tends to lead to old bad habits like comfort eating. It's comforting alright - right up to that last bite and then the remorse hits you right between the eyes.

This Thanksgiving went pretty well and I'm happy to say I behaved myself around the dinner table. Yes, there was that brief interlude with a slice of pecan pie but I didn't then go on to sample every other pie in attendance. One and done. I finally worked up enough courage to step on the scale this morning and I'm still stuck right where I've been the past few weeks - straddling Onederland and DeuceTown. Not down but not up.

To get myself through the next 30 days I've been doing a lot of reading about how to shore up my emotional stamina. I know how the diet and exercise thingy works but it's the mental part that really turns the key for me. If I can finally teach myself that I'm "deserving" of attaining this goal, I can reach it - as hard as that is to admit. You all have been great at helping me stay on track and I'm so grateful for your encouragement and inspiration. Let's keep helping each other get to where we want to be.

Talking Turkey and Other Stuff

"I think you've got me confused with my predecessor."

No wonder he pardoned the little guy. A naughty little laugh for you all before you start feeling the stress of the holidays hit you like a ton of bricks.

As for me, I am not starting off the holiday season on the highest of notes. While I've still been good about walking every day (elbow is still being worked on at physical therapy), the eating has been off the charts bad. You know, it starts with forgetting to get something for dinner which eventually rolls into going out to eat which morphs into bad choices. I did that two days in a row - clearly my learning curve is skewed downward. The one day of the week that always wreaks havoc with me is when I visit my parents in CT. I leave their house around noon and stop at any fast food place nearby as I'm ravenous at that point and want something for the long ride home. It's a bad habit I've allowed myself to develop and will now attempt to pack a lunch instead and completely bypass the deep fried alternative. It's always an emotional day for me and I'm reverting back to those bad "comfort food" habits I've been working so hard to break.

Thanksgiving Day itself should be a little easier to bear than in the past. My brother is hosting this year so my husband and I, for the first time in 10 years, won't have to take the movable feast from our house in MA to my parents' home in CT. This has always involved my husband leaving our house early in the morning so that the turkey can be put in the oven down in CT. I follow a few hours later with all the side dishes and most favored grandson. The extra special bonus this year is that three of the usual troublemakers at the holidays will not be present and for that I am extremely grateful. This is such an added bonus in terms of my stress levels before, during and after the event that I think it will make a real difference in how I manage the first of the big eating days this holiday season. Here's hoping, anyway.

Hope you're all having a good Monday!

I'm Not Dead Yet

Ah, yes - I love a little Monty Python in the morning.

I've been hiding under various rocks this past week trying to get my head in a good place. I've gotten much better at my food journaling and have even gotten to a new low with my weight - down another pound and just this close to onederland. And I am fighting as hard as I can against the mindset that is blocking me from doing better. I have been bumping up against this next goal weight like a demented moth against a screen door and am sick of this self-sabotaging cycle I'm stuck in. It's like I haven't given myself "permission" to continue losing weight. Does that make sense to anybody else? To help get past this I have been weighing myself a lot less in hopes that the next time I weigh in I will have broken through that barrier. My thinking is that if I'm not putting it in front of me every single day I won't be putting unnecessary pressure on myself and might just succeed. There is such a thing as over-thinking a situation and letting it get under your skin.

I'll try to update more often but it all depends on how I'm progressing. In the meantime, today and tomorrow I'm posting at Cranky Fitness. I'm there every Thursday and every other Friday so stop by and say hello.

Shhhhh.....She's Thinking

I have been sooooo bad at staying in touch and blogging. I credited blogging with helping me lose this initial weight, which is in the ballpark of 20-25 pounds these days. But now it feels like it's turned on me - or more correctly put, I have turned on me. It has provided me so many instances of inspiration from fellow bloggers but now that I've come to a virtual halt in my weight loss, I find myself comparing my results (or lack thereof) with those of others....and it's bringing me down. I am thrilled for all of my friends who are still getting the job done but then I say to myself, "So what have you done lately?" and it's starting to feed on itself more than I'd like (no pun intended for a change). So I'm stepping back a bit, trying to "gain" a little perspective while getting my head wrapped around this again. I know I have the power to do this but feel like I have lost the balance and motivation that once had me moving in the right direction. I'm getting so tired of writing/whining about how stuck I am and can only imagine how dull it must be to read.

I'll still be here and cheering everyone on. Hopefully, I'll be back at it sooner than later if I can get past this self-imposed barrier of self-sabotage. Must think positive thoughts.....

(photo: Lilachd)

Where Are You?

Hi friends! I'm over at Cranky Fitness today and tomorrow so stop in and say hello.

Re-start

I'm more than stalled in terms of losing weight - I'm plain stopped. I've been losing and gaining the same 2-3 pounds for what seems like months now. Time to reassess.

While my exercise has stayed constant and kept my spirits fairly high, my diet is in dire need of some attention. I have strayed from keeping my daily food journal - which is what I think led to my earlier success - and I feel I am in full self-sabotage mode. The journaling is easy enough to pick up again - the squirrels in my head are another matter. But as the saying goes, nothing succeeds like success.

When I first noticed that I had stalled I took my foot off the gas a little - maybe I was trying a little TOO hard (which I've never been accused of at any other point in my life). Maybe if I didn't make the weight thing the be-all and end-all of my existence then things would start to happen more naturally. Well, that sure didn't work so it's back to basics for now - starting with picking up my food journal again. I don't want another year to end without achieving this goal. It is certainly very doable but I just need to get out of my own way.