Dad & Daughter Diet Delusions

My father has always had the gift of gab - blarney, is how he and his Irish friends speak of it. He has that rare ability of telling someone to go to hell such that they look forward to the trip. I spent my formative years watching and listening and learned some lessons well and other even better - such as the diet delusion.

One day a few years ago I was visiting my parents. My dad was bemoaning the notion that he'd have to start losing a few pounds. I come from a family of pretty normal sized parents, one skinny sister, and a tall lanky brother. And then there is me - an above average looking gal with the metabolism of a garden slug. No one in my family prior to few years ago ever had trouble with their weight except me. So I suppose Dad was looking for a kindred spirit that day when chewing the fat about fat. So we talked a while about diet and exercise and then he made his way to the fridge. He reached down to the freezer and pulled out a chocolate Dove ice cream bar. They should be called "chocolate ice cream ice cream bars" because one "ice cream" just doesn't adequately cover the amount of creamy goodness and calories packed into the seemingly harmless bar on a stick.

I was very surprised at this, given our topic of conversation and so I asked him why he was getting out a Dove bar if he was trying to lose weight. In his very best Mickie the Dunce performance of all time, he looked at me with wide innocent eyes and asked, "Oh, are these fattening?" And then I remembered who I was dealing with. As if he had no idea. "Well," I began, "I think the only way they could cram any more calories into that Dove bar is if they deep fried it." Realizing his diet delusion had been busted, he broke out into a smile and ate it anyway.

I inherited many things from my dad but lately this diet delusion seems to be heading the pack. While on a very rational level I know some things are bad for me, I nonetheless pick my blind spots: "No one saw me eat it therefore it doesn't count." "There's no way that was three servings!" "Salt, sugar and cocoa are all natural ingredients - how could they possibly not be included in any respectable all-natural diet?!" "All weight limits and calorie counts are lifted at midnight.".........and the beat goes on.

Moral of today's story: the candy apple doesn't fall far from the tree.