You've heard of the Ghost Whisperer and the Dog Whisperer? People who have some special frequency through which they channel their respective subjects? Well, meet me - the bitch whisperer - channeler of bitches of all shapes and sizes - from fellow bridesmaids to Filene's basement shoppers to playdate moms - I've handled them all and with a smile on my face. Going along to get along, right? And as a former saleswoman in the investments arena - well let's just say some of those gals raised it to an art form. But seeing as it's still a huge old boys' network, I'm cutting my former associates and clients mucho slack as that's often what it takes to stay with the Wall Street pack.
But it's time to put aside using my talents in the outside world. The older I get the more obvious it becomes that I no longer care to placate this territory-marking crowd. I've finally figured out that the only payoff here is THEIR satisfaction and in my life, that just won't do; especially when I'm the one who winds up cleaning up after them to further ingratiate myself to them. The bitch I'm channeling now is ME. That's right - ME! No more people-pleasing, no more trying to do for others so that they'll like me (especially the queen size me), no more looking for others' approval to help elevate my own self worth, no more putting others before me. I've finally gotten in touch with my inner bitch and it feels great!!
Now I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer here but it's important to know that only we are our own best source of encouragement and comfort and love - because if we're still looking to others for it and it never comes, then it often feels that there aren't grocery stores big enough to handle the load of comfort that we want to stuff in our shopping carriages. As a former broker, my advice in this situation would be to buy Hostess and sell yourself short because you know that's what always happens.
Yes, yes - you're so perceptive, my friends. There was an incident on Mother's Day that inspired this post but this time I have turned it into something positive - putting myself first....at last!!! I know this new attitude will result in me being called a bitch by my old pack. So be it. That's their problem to deal with - not mine.
On a brighter note, Hubby and Son couldn't have been sweeter this weekend. They bought me a baby weeping cherry tree and every Mother's Day I will take a picture next to it with my son. And as they both grow over the years I intend on doing the reverse - physically, at least.
Hope you all had a great weekend. Happy Monday!
14 comments:
I <3 this post!!
I feel your pain! Enough said....you go girl!
I have a weeping cherry, I LOVE IT!!
:)
Awww Gigi I can totally relate to that. My best friend says it's her goal to turn me into a bitch by my 40th birthday :) I never say no to anything and sometimes it makes me MISERABLE! So glad you had a nice mothers day and such a beautiful gift!
Not "Debbie Downer" at all--dead on. And I am pretty sure "bitch" is one of the nicer things that I have been called over the years.
One of the more positive points of getting a little older is somewhere along the way, most of us start caring less and less about what other people think, and more and more about what we need. It is so liberating!
That was one of the best Mother's Day presents I have heard about!
If you need additional bitch power, just let me know. I can summon mine in the blink of an eye. ;-)
Really, it is assertiveness and not bitchiness and elevating your own needs to equal others is no bad thing.
Love the cherry tree idea - what a beautiful gift!
I've finally figured out that the only payoff here is THEIR satisfaction ... <~~~~~ This is such an important lesson/reminder for all of us. Glad Mother's Day was good for you. The gift (and your future plans with it) sounds terrific.
Caring about what others think more than valuing what we, ourselves think and comparing ourselves to others is ground zero for unnecessary unhappiness.
Not a downer at all, just a nice big whiff of reality.
Spectacular post - self-improvement requires self-reliance! Good message, and one I needed to hear.
Really good post. I am such a people pleaser mysef. It sucks the life right out of me.
I think it does come from getting older and wiser....and TIRED. It takes alot of energy to try to get everyone to like me.
I struggle with the pleasing thing all the time, it's an ongoing battle.
My name is Monica and Im a people pleaser.(Hi Monica)
I would love to channel my inner bitch, its something Ive been working on but I get sooo flustered and end up looking like an idiot!
Hurray for the New YOU!! You're entitled, IMO.
DH handled IBC when they were going belly up a couple of years ago. Think that's when we started buying Hostess Ho-Hos and Ding Dongs to help them out. :) That may have been the source of some of my problems....ya think?
Anyway, good for you making time for yourself, and congratulating yourself on your many accomplishments. Yippeee Skippeeee
Good for you for putting yourself first. If you don't, who will? And really, do you really care if someone thinks your a bitch? I think it's kinda a badge of honor.
A tree is such a great mother's day present. so sweet. Glad you enjoyed your day.
Fellow people-pleaser here...let me know how the bitch thing works out for you - and please give step-by-step instructions!
The tree/picture thing is such a cute idea!
man you nailed it.
My sister lamented to me just yesterday that if only XYZ person would lob a compliment her way she'd feel better about herself...
it does need to all come from with in.
and the N-WORD?
NO?
taking care of YOU first? so the way to go sometimes :)
Yep, saying no is hard. We take everything, are so understanding, can handle it all. And then it comes back to haunt us in so many forms. I always like to think about how on an airplane you are required to put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else. We have to do that in life as well. Great post, thanks.
jen
Boda weight loss blog
Post a Comment