Safety alert: there is nothing wrong with my ass. Except that it is too big. It isn't as big as it was a year ago but that seems to count for donuts (mmmm....donuts). Or at least that's the impression my doctor gave me over the phone as she was telling me that the result of the barium swallow x-ray was that I have a mild hiatal hernia and reflux. All can be made good again by taking another med and "losing weight". Bitch. Bitch in a white coat who's never had a weight problem in her life. You could've lessened the blow by saying "lose more weight" but noooo, why encourage Little Lotta?
Call me crazy but a long time ago when I smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day, I was the picture of health. All the trouble got started when I quit. The old axiom really is true: winners never quit and quitters never win. So I quit smoking and got married and you all know how the other saying goes - once you've caught the bus, you can stop running - and promptly put on about 80 pounds. Since reaching my peak of 229 a couple of years ago I got myself off the meds that had the crazy side-effect of weight gain (which little miss white coat never mentioned at the outset-bitch squared!) and started cultivating a "healthier lifestyle" - and it's been nothing but trouble since then. Since losing about 26 pounds overall I thought I'd start seeing some benefits healthwise. But my varicose veins are worse, I'm still on statins, still have sleep apnea and now this hernia deal and all I ever hear is "lose weight". Okay, I'm doing that but apparently not fast enough. My concern now is that at this rate I'll get to my goal weight some day and be told that I have a month to live.
Okay, my rant's over and if you think for one second I'm going to let this unappreciative doc get the best of me and I'll start comforting myself with Little Debbie and Big Gulp, you'd be wrong. It's on!! I'll see you in the examing room in January, girl, and I'll be bringing it. Prepare to be awed.
17 comments:
I feel sorry for your doctor once your done with her.
Give it all you've got and show her whose boss!
You could fire her for being so insensitive and wipe the floor with her. :-)
"Bring it!" I love that! I hope that come January you are able to look at that Dr. and say, "Thank you! You have no idea how you inspired me, not with words of wisdom, but with rage at our last meeting.... and that rage fueled me as I exercised and walked away from *crack foods*. Thanks for kicking this Chunky Monkey when I was down... You turned me in to Rocky... cue the music...and I'm back, so bring it, I ain't scared!"
Shock and awe, I'd wager.
Hmmmmmm, a doctor with poor personal skills. It's almost too hard to imagine. ;)
"Doctor, doctor, I've been in a car accident and my head is bleeding profusely!" "Well, if you would just lose weight this would clear right up!"
Sooooooooo sick of medical "professionals" blaming everything on weight! More than 10 years ago I had a headache so severe I couldn't move, it affected my optic nerves and I was losing my vision, and I seriously considered blowing my head off to end the pain. The first and second doctors responses? You guessed it. By the time I found my third doctor (and second neurologist), I really didn't think I was going to last much longer. The first thing out of her mouth was "we need to get you to stop hurting" - I could have kissed her! There are some good MDs out there, but too many of them don't even try to help you - they just play the blame game.
OK, rant over. (And obviously I totally get where you're coming from).
Great bedside manner. Soem doctors are such assholes.
Knock their socks off come Jan. You can do it!
For all their education, Drs. are truly clueless. Instead of bedside manners, it is now "Slam Bam Thank You Mam" and you're kicked out of there like a shot. Oh how I long for the old Dr. who gave me a pat on the back for quitting smoking (then gaining 40#), or told me I was looking healthy with my suntanned face. Whatever happened to the niceties in life?
Bring 'em back Doc!! And you, girl BRING IT!!! Show that skinny bitch who is the BOSS!!
It is just typical laziness on their part. I have been getting it all the time and even though I too have lost a lot, the advice is still the same. Grrrr!
(oh, and ouch at the H Hernia, bleh!).
Glad your ass is good! I have a tiny little doctor and I think she dumbfounded by my struggles since she can't relate. God bless her she tries. I wish they had a website called findafatdoctor.com so people could talk to someone who understood :)
That's why I became my own doctor. My bedside manner is excellent!
Maybe kick boxing would be of interest to you in preparation for the unleashing of your awesomeness in January.
What if all of us pushing fifty women suddenly turned kick ass? The Susan Powter revolution (minus the crazy narcissism part).
Talk 'bout a revolution...
You go girl...the good news that the doc forgot to mention is that if you need surgery for the hernia, you can double down and get a tummy tuck at the same time....a little silver lining in this...keep at it. I may decided to join in and participate rather than be a fat-assed by-stander. Your posts keep me smiling!
Watch out!! lol I hated when I went to the Dr. and he told me that I could stand to lose some weight- I went in with strep throat- not anything weight related! IDIOT! Anyway- Show that DOC whos boss will ya! :) You can do it! :)
AHHHHH IM IN THE SAME PLACE TODAY.
except with a pediatrician.
(link on my blog at bottom of todays post if you happen to be in my nech of the net...)
what is UP with the medical profession?!
MizFit
Bitch is right!
Sorry it feels like your chasing your own tale sometimes...
Thanks again for the good laugh though. Whatever you do, don't lose your awesome sense of humor.
I just found your blog...read back through the last 3 or 4 posts and I was laughing out load at each one...I love the way you write and think...I'll be following. :)
I was told the same thing about my blood pressure and frequent respiratory infections. I can't wait to see my doc at the next checkup!
(although, I haven't been sick in ages and my blood pressure is now normal. Dammit.)
Or how about miscarrying and then having the doctor tell you "You might be able to carry a baby better if you lost some weight". hmmmmm...Cretin. My aunt dorothy lost all her weight in her late fifties, she went to the doctor and got a full check up and a clean bill of health, one week later they found her dead in the bathroom from a massive heart attack. completely true story. Don't you love doctors.
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