Does This Rash Make My Ass Look Big?

I only have 25 minutes to post before the dazed and confused teen wants to use the computer so it'll be short.

This week I caught some poison ivy - even though it's not in bloom yet, something left over from last year must've grabbed me and I always have an extreme reaction to it - ever since being a kid. Unfortunately, it's on my left foot and shin and my right thigh (and you thought Twister was just a kids' game!) and so socks and sneakers are out of the question. Rats! It has been a beautiful week weather-wise here but I haven't been able to enjoy it much; walking around like a rest home escapee in my scuffies and rolled-up pant legs with calamine lotion making my chalk-white legs look even milkier than they already are. And the little sprouts of leg hair inbetween the rash add such an elegant touch to this deranged ensemble. Too bad there aren't any hair nets around - that would really complete the look.

I am bummed out beyond belief as I feel my butt growing bigger by the hour and know that there's not much I can do about it. If I can get the boys to leave the house for a while tomorrow maybe I'll try - gulp - Jillian's shred again, only without the sneakers or defribulator. It could get ugly again as I haven't bought a sports bra yet given my limited wardrobe - the mall isn't ready for this level of chic - although I could probably pass for normal at Walmart. I'll keep you posted.