For the past few days I've been eating like I'm going to the chair. Only ONE last meal?! I don't think so. And as much as I've been trying to figure out what's driving this I admit I haven't made much progress. Maybe it's the weather. We're in the middle of an ice storm now and I awoke at 3:30 am to the crashing of a tree way too close to the house and feeling sure that if I were awake, no harm would come to us. So as long as I'm on sentry duty and the power is still on I might as well be productive about it and post.
Last night I kept having a craving for something that wasn't in the house...I didn't know just what it was exactly but after consuming vast quantities of other food, discovered that nothing had actually hit that sweet spot. It was one of those instances of at first feeling good about not having any "bad" food in the house and then going googootz because there's no "bad" food in the house and off to the races I went. With cravings, I will generally let myself have a little bit of whatever it is just to satisfy myself and not feel deprived. But last night (just a scant 6 hours ago) I seemed to be on some kind of sweet/salty/I-can't-put-my-finger-on-it food death wish, going from cabinet to cabinet, eating what I knew were all the wrong things in terms of satisfying this craving but goint through the motions just to prove it to myself.
Like I said, the weather's been crappy and has forced me indoors which always harms my efforts. I think, too, I've gotten away from some of the long-term goals here and was a little too in the moment of wanting to scratch an itch that couldn't be reached. A bad day here and there doesn't get me too upset but they are becoming the rule rather than the exception and I can't let that happen.
Well, time to log off. The lights are flickering and trees are still crashing about so gotta go.
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