I hate to say it but I'm in a really foul mood this morning. I have a favorite saying that goes, "Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." This saying - nay, mantra - has been violated big time by someone who should know better and I know if I give in a little (which I have done most of my life to disastrous results), I will get completely swallowed up by it (interesting that even in crisis mode I choose eating/food references). I have given this person lots of warnings about the coming storm but have always been waved away and had my opinions dismissed. This is one of those times I wish I had someone telling me what the right thing to do is - including the possibility of regrets down the road. It is within my power to do something but not in my best interest - which I have not served very well and figure is at the root of many of my weight issues. And this is a situation that could last for quite a long time.
I have done right by this person for most of my life and recieved not so much appreciation as an expectation of more...and I am wrung dry. A couple of years ago I made a conscious decision to set some boundaries to save my sanity and have been firm about keeping them in place - much to his chagrin. But the people-pleaser in me is SO hardwired that the not doing it is almost harder than giving in and hating myself for it later. Almost.
With all the added drama of this week it would be so easy to revert back to the old coping mechanisms of comfort eating - but with another 50 or so pounds to lose, is not something I should seriously entertain. So I have a tough decision to make and neither outcome is good - just less painful. What to do? As Yogi Beara said, "When you reach a fork in the road, take it." Sounds like a plan to me.
11 comments:
I'm sorry your day has started so bad! I do feel ya, though... I feel ya.
I am so happy about your 40 minutes! And it's not compared to my 90 because I think I was trying to run away from home, lol! I was aiming for 45 minutes, and by the time I realized where I was, I'd already been walking for that long! Too bad my kids are too young to drive or I would have made one of them come pick my tired a** up and drive me home! But... I had to walk instead...
Here's hoping BOTH of our days get better!
Bummer of a day for you, sorry.
I had this same situation 3 yrs ago. I finally let go of years of pent up anger and frustration. I let her know, in no uncertain terms, that I was tired of being her personal doormat. Sadly, this story ends badly, with us not currently speaking, but I am actually happier now that I'm not being walked on and over all of the time. I have my life back on my terms. I also think this incident was what enabled me to put my eating issues aside so that the focus can be on me and my health. I have no one to please but myself, and I find when I do that, everyone around me is pleased as well.
Good luck to you. It ain't easy.
It sucks to start off your day badly, so sorry about that! I have had to let go a lot of relationships where I was being treated poorly, it was affecting my attitude and leading me to binge. What has helped me is to write a letter or email to the person that is bothering me which makes me feel better. Most of the time I never send it, but when I do I make sure it's never sent in anger, you never what to regret what you send.
Hope your day gets better!
We are dealing with some family drama on my husband's side (after spending more than a week with my parents - good grief!) that could have been addressed years ago but is now coming to a boil. Not fun.
Keep focused on taking good care of yourself best you can.
word verification: dialog (bloody weird)
Boundaries...greatest thing ever! Good luck keeping them and I hope your day gets better.
Stick to your guns girlie!!
I'm hoping this is about a friend and not family, because that makes it so much harder...but you have to take care of you, regardless of who the other party is. I know how it feels to want someone to tell you what to do, but I never really listened when they did. Hope things are already better and that you kept your boundaries in place and the other person surprised you with respect for those boundaries.
Isn't it ironic that usually the last person the "people pleaser" in us cares to please is ourselves?
Take good care of yourself!
I agree with all that have posted here; you must take care of yourself first. I know that it is a difficult situation (I'm a 'people pleaser' too) but at the end of the day, you are the only one who is going to take care of you, so make yourself the priority :)
Hope that things are getting better!
Sorry you're going through this but be firm and hang tight. Keep to the boundries, even if it seems like the hard thing to do.
Hope all is well
I'm not sure of any advice that I can give but I can tell you that I'll be praying that you make the right decisions.
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