Okay, so it's school vacation week here (which is why I haven't written) and just when I thought things couldn't get worse with mood swings and a bored 13 year old, we received word that my husband's dear aunt passed away. She was elderly and just wanting to die but still it is a sad time.
Fast forward to today and the task at hand: outfitting the aforementioned 13 year old with appropriate mourning wear. My son has not gone through the vertical growth spurt yet and so is hovering inbetween boy's and men's wear and it is not an easy chasm to bridge. I was also trying to be sensitive to his size issues - he is approxmately 5'2" and 142 pounds. I get it from all sides about his weight and asked constantly by his doctors (in front of him, no less) if I have concerns about his size. I always say no (and really, who am I to throw stones?). I am determined that my little man never be treated as some freak of nature as I was at that age. The teen years are hard enough on a kid without his own mother jumping on his case about weight. Even into my late 40's my mother was dropping hurtful "hints" about my weight which only made me turn to food that much more. After all, I thought, I must be some real loser if even my mother comments about how fat I am. You think I'm fat now, Mom? Just watch this!
And so when we found a suit in a "husky" size, I didn't mention a thing. He was embarrassed to lift his shirt so I could see the fit of the pants and I held my tongue. I am not going to add to his misery and embarrassment. I'll get him through this pudgy phase but I'll do it without humiliating him so that years down the road, he still isn't coping with the whole self-loathing thing that still haunts me. My mission is to set a good example for him by losing all this weight I'm carrying around - not by badgering him into submission.
On the upside, I was able to wiggle myself into some size 16W blouses. It took hours to find something not made of spandex and suited for a crack whore but I did it - and a size smaller than my last mall outing.
We both did enough walking today that it counts for more than my usual workout. And in typical fashion for any of my shopping excursions at my present weight (as well as my son's), the sweating and swearing simply added to the overall calories-burned total for the day.
Aunt Wendy, rest in peace. We love you.
7 comments:
Hey Gigi
My heart goes out to you for your loss and to your son. . . geez have I been there. I do think if you can keep him developing a FAT IDENTITY he will be better off. It would be super to think of it as a pudgy stage he will grow out of with healthy eating habits, activty and growth instead of thinking of himself as a fat person.
My mom took me to husky size boys (from pretty plus girls) to try to find jeans that would fit as a kid (horrible, horrible humiliation).
Congrats on the smaller size!
Sorry to hear about your husbands aunt.
Your son will probably grow a foot one summer an no one will recognize him. That happened to both my step brothers who were short and fat and now tall and thin!
Also congrats on the size 16s. I think clothes get less crack whore like the smaller you get which really makes no sense at all :) I'm still laughing about that.
Sorry about your aunt.
Yeah for the smaller size and less crack whole look.
My son is overweight too....he's 7 1/2. We focus on maintaining his weight while he grows in height.....and getting in more daily exercise. He's been bike riding and loving it!
Congrats on the size 16!
Sorry to hear about Aunt Wendy's passing...*hugs* to you and her family.
It's tough when kids are "big" "overweight"...what to do? Will they grow out of it or will it lead to a life of obesity. But I agree with you not to badger him - may lead to bigger issues down the road. I was an overweight child and well, do wish someone woudl have helped me not be. Cuase I'm struggling as an adult...I don't know the solution or even a good suggestion. It's a tough situation...
Sorry to hear about Aunt Wendy. And it sounds like you're doing right by your son -- setting a good example. Once he start growing in height, he'll probably move out of the huskies. I agree about shopping and trying on clothes -- my heart rate sure gets up there!! :) Good job on dropping a size.
I agree with you, DC, about providing some guidance along with the love. He does not get a free pass on everything he eats or his slothful nature. And as my health habits improve I feel I can advise from a position of "been there/done that" which might help the cause even more.
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