If you're wondering why there hasn't been a weigh-in in over a month it's because I have been pretty much out of control since then. It all started with the colonoscopy and has just sort of taken on a life of its own. I feel enormous pressures these days - my beloved mother with late stage Alzheimer's (we are almost 10 years in since initial diagnosis), a seriously ill father, my son's asthma becoming worse every year, numerous nagging injuries of my own and my ever-present weight problem.
I know things could be worse and I do remember to thank God every day for my blessings and pray for His guidance for the harder things. Still, I've been trying to convince myself for the past 2 years or so that all of the above shouldn't be weighing on me as much as they do - that everything is still status quo so why don't I just deal with it and move on? I've finally cut myself a little slack in acknowledging that things ARE much harder than they were not so long ago and that it's very normal to feel the sadness and loss about things over which I have no control. I am having a lot of trouble processing the all bad things but maybe by acknowledging that - that these are fairly desperate times for me - I won't feel the need so much to comfort myself with food.
Here's hoping that tomorrow brings me back to a better place and I can start over.
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