I learned recently that I haven't been trusting myself enough. I can count on one hand the number of times in my life when I knew exactly what I was doing and where I was headed. Sure, I hit some bumps in the road but I didn't let them throw me off my game. Sorry to say that lately that hasn't been the case.
After my dad died a couple of years ago, my weight soared an additional 35 pounds! I was a mess and my doctor, thinking I was depressed, sent me to a therapist. The therapist was very nice and was easy to talk to but I didn't feel she was helping me get better. I also thought I should join a gym - but not just any gym - the really expensive new gym with the personal trainers - I've never had a personal trainer. And hey, what about a nutritionist? And while I was at it, I joined Weight Watchers too. Surely with all this help I was bound to lose the weight that had been haunting me most of the past 20 years.
And then one day, the therapist said something really awful to me. My teen had been a real challenge lately, to the point of yet another "expert" telling us he had a severe mental problem for which there was no effective treatment or cure (It turned out this "expert" was wrong, too, but we wouldn't learn that for another 6 months). I was devastated and went to my therapist one morning in tears about the entire situation. She said, and I quote, "The best you can hope for is when he's old enough that he becomes someone else's problem." I quit her that day and while I thought she was terribly unprofessional in what she said, she served as the catalyst for me to ditch all my "experts" and find my own strength again. When had I started giving all my power away to these people and where had it gotten me? I gave it away because I didn't have enough trust in myself to realize I could do it on my own. I was naively hoping that all these "experts" could do it for me - but of course we all know that we can only do it for ourselves.
I started this blog 3 years or so ago and was able to lose almost 30 pounds on my own by food journaling, exercising and blogging. I did it all on my own and can do it again. I am maintaining my Weight Watchers membership for now to help me with the accountability issues I have.
I think deep down everyone knows what it is they need to succeed. Once in a while we may even need others to help us get to the point of self-sufficiency. But I have no doubt that we all have everything we need to succeed if we just dig deep enough, long enough.
2 comments:
Yes, you can.
Experts are for consulting to get information to help us decide for ourselves.
What most of us need are cheerleaders, not experts to hand our power to.
At least, that's what i've found.
That therapist was terrible - I'm sorry she said those things to you. You are exactly right - we do often times have all the tools we need to have success. I will say that there are definitely times when a good, caring therapist can help us sort out issues that we are having trouble dealing with on our own.
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