As one of the wonders of being over 50, I am entitled to my first colonoscopy. TMI? Sorry about the Scope Dope but I only bring it up as a lead-in to my current problem. As part of the prep work for Wednesday's fun fest, I can't eat any solid food all day tomorrow. This, as any over-eater can imagine, has set off my binge alarm and I'm afraid that I might cave in to answer its siren call.
As anyone who has failed at diets as consistently as I have knows, the real reason for the lack of success is the notion of deprivation. Let's call it more than a notion - let's call it stone cold hard reality. I cannot be deprived of things and still find myself in a positive enough frame of mind to complete such a momumental task as losing all this weight. I've worked hard these past few months to get myself to a place where I can eat what I want - in moderation, with occasional splurges - and make sure I exercise every day, being conscious to raise the level and intensity as needed. I have forced myself accept a little weight loss over a long period of time - the old "Baby Steps" model - even though I am an instant gratification freak.
So as visions of mac and cheese and Chips Ahoy dance in my head in anticipation of being deprived, I must take a step back and get some perspective. I am only being asked not to eat for a day and a half - I am not going to the electric chair; therefore, I should resist the "last meal" mentality and suck it up. I may give in a little but if that's what it takes to get me over the hump, so be it. I am trying to get through this weight loss journey as best I can and without the self-sabotage that has brought me down before. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. It never was as black and white as that and it never will be and I'd do well to remember that.
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